Keep Your Eyes on Me

I read this devotion in the driveway this morning. I had just finished the rounds of dropping all the kids off at school. My mind was already spinning with the day's tasks. As I put the car in park, on a whim decided to open up my Jesus Calling App. Before I went inside and got straight to work on my agenda for the day I thought it might be a good idea to read without distraction. So, I settled back into the drivers seat for some much needed time with God.

April 23^rd, Keep Your Eyes on Me*:

Keep your eyes on me, not only for direction but also for empowerment. I never lead you to do something without equipping you for the task. That is why it’s so important to seek My will in everything you do. There are many burned-out Christians who think more is always better, who deem it unspiritual to say no.

In order to know My will, you must spend time with Me- enjoying My Presence.  This is not an onerous task but a delightful privilege. I will show you the path of Life; in My Presence is fullness of Joy; at My right hand there are pleasures forever.

Reference verses:
But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge- do not give me over to death. – Psalm 14:18

You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. –Psalm 16:11 NKJV

BAMM!

I have been busy, really busy and at times- always busy. I am a recovering workaholic that seems to fall off the bandwagon pretty often- especially lately. It seems I will do really well for a few weeks in having renewed purpose and commitment to simplify and be completely present for our kids and family. Trying my best to finish my work while they are in school. But then inevitably I will have a burst of creativity, a slew of business plans, marketing ideas, home projects, missions, editing, etc. Have you ever been so overwhelmed with planning that not only is your head spinning but it’s almost like you are paralyzed because you just do not know which step to take first? That is me.

I have come to the conclusion that this is ingrained into my DNA that no matter what I will be this “type” of person. I have to be in constant motion, it’s who I am and there are positive qualities in it that I know are good for the kids to see- creativity, strong work ethic, volunteering, honoring commitments, helping and encouraging others, dreaming and planning for the future. But there’s also limits that go along with that and I want them to know there’s a fine balance and that telling yourself  “no” is sometimes the hardest thing to do. There’s been times when I have so much crammed into a day that I have to give the kids a rain check when they ask if I can come have lunch with them at school, when I am still on the computer when they get home from the bus stop, some days I even consider taking my laptop to the ballpark so I can work while they are at practice.

Micheli asks if I can play with her and more and more my answer is “Give me just a few minutes to finish this…” which turns into a few hours. I have to surrender on a daily basis “my” goals for the day, week, etc. to cut back to a more manageable idea of realistic daily accomplishments.

Yesterday was field day at Micheli’s preschool. 

I was so torn between pushing a major deadline and not missing out on seeing her play with her class and taking some pictures. I ended up running back home for my camera and stayed all morning with her, signed her out early, met some mommy friends at McDonalds for lunch to play. We ran errands together and even did some grocery shopping. It was glorious! 

Adam completely gets the Father of the Year award for caring for baby all day without hesitation or complaint. He even successfully navigated her nap time to coincide with his conference calls. I LOVE that man! And I ended up making my deadline after all and got to spend an amazing day with Micheli. I know my days are numbered with this age and I'm determined to do everything in my power to be there for the kids for little things like this. After all, the boys will not always beg for me to have lunch with them, snuggle for movies and have tea parties with Micheli.

This morning those precious words written were like a conversation with God. Sitting there in our driveway. So simple and direct. I always pray for direction and a peace about decisions and planning. Even yesterday Micheli’s teachers prayed with me about the same things. The timing of this was just so spot on and such an amazing reminder that no matter what my plans or dreams may be the one thing I have to do every morning is to keep my eyes on Him.

Even before saving and publishing this post I came across another gentle reminder of this message in a post my friend, Karen Stott shared from an audio book she is listening to (Calm My Anxious Heart). She shared a few gems of advice that the author had found in a diary of her friend’s mother (and I'm so glad she did)…

Prescription for Contentment:

Never allow yourself to complain about anything, not even the weather.
Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
Never compare your lot with another’s.
Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
Never dwell on tomorrow. Remember that tomorrow is God’s, not ours.

Wow! When I apply those to what my goals or plans are it is humbling. Suddenly, the “I wants” are not so important anymore. It’s not that I do not want to dream big, plan for a successful future or grow my business. I think that it is just a wonderful reminder of what the balance of sacrifice means for my time, stress and family when I try to do too much, too quickly. When I look back over my successes, not one came in my planning or timing- they were all God’s. 

And when I look back over what I accomplished today my heart is filled :)

*Devotion from Jesus Calling by: Sarah Young